But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
