If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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