Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
