i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
