His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize