Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
