Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
