I swear she didn't look like that last week.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize