Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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