Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
