When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
