Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
