oh god the rape fog is back!
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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