Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
