Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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