she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
MIDGETS
????
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
