If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize