It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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