highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
