so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
