I am puke
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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