fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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