Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
