i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
