No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize