i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Barsexuality is the new black.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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