chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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