I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
