I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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