If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
