I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize