You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
