$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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