My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
why do cheetos always look like penises
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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