How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
