You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
