From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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