I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
