sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
this boner is exhausting
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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