Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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