Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
