So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
