Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
