I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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