Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
