I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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