These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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