My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Randomize
