He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize