He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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