Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Be still, my beating vagina.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
