i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Is Oprah even human
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
