he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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