He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize