I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
