She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
