Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize