He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
