I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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