What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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