Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
