You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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