thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
