I must be too annoying 4 u.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize