Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
