I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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