hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
