if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
