Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
God, you're like boner-b-gone
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Shame - the story of my life.
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