wat bout pragnant strippers??
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
